The Mightiest Vikings
by inharborlights
Summary: Mathias Køhler is definitely the coolest babysitter in the entire universe. Well, maybe his boyfriend Lukas would disagree, but still. Anko Family, Babysitting AU with human names and some Dennor. Fluff everywhere.
1. Chapter 1

"Do you have any 4's?"

"Go fish."

"Damnit."

"Mathias, what did I tell you about your language in front of Emil?"

"Oh crap, sorry," he replied sheepishly, shooting a glance at Lukas's 4-year-old brother.

 _"Mathias."_

The three of them were perched in a circle atop a mound of blankets and stuffed animals, cleverly hidden away from the rest of the world by a fortress made of bedsheets and couch cushions. Each of them held a fist of cards - Lukas, Mathias, Emil, and even the stuffed Puffin plushie that Emil had insisted they bring along to play.

Emil eyed Lukas. "Got any 8's?"

Lukas handed him 2 cards, which Emil smugly grabbed from him before laying down yet another suit of cards. "I'm winning. Again." He informed the two of them.

Mathias tried to hide his disdain by flashing him a bright smile. "Your brother sure is something, Luke. Are you sure that those cards were shuffled fairly?" He may have lost 4 out of the 5 rounds of Go Fish that they'd played, but he didn't think that he was that bad of a player.

"Of course. You'd better shape up, Matt, cause you're getting your butt handed to you by a kid," Lukas answered, packing the cards back into their box.

"I'm not a kid!" Emil whined, crossing his arms.

Lukas stood up, looking between his brother and the Puffin plushie with its cards. "Alright, Pipsqueak, remind me of that next time you beg me to tuck you into bed with Mr. Puffin and read Goodnight, Moon to you again."

Emil clenched his tiny fists, glaring steadily at his brother. Lukas had too much sharp wit for his own good - a trait that was useful for dealing with shrewd adults, but often got him into trouble with children.

Sensing a monstrous tantrum coming, Mathias decided to intervene. "Don't worry, dude, Goodnight, Moon is one of the greatest books of all time. Plus, I'm a verified adult and I still would totally love having your brother... 'tuck me in'," He said, winking at Lukas.

Lukas nearly laughed. "In your dreams."

"In my dreams, indeed," Mathias murmured, elbowing Emil in the side conspiratorially. Emil, totally oblivious, nodded his head in agreement.

"Mathias, I ill-way ick-kay ou-yay in the alls-bay if you keep saying that it-shay," Lukas threatened, messing up Emil's hair with one hand and and cooly whacking Mathias on the back of the head with the other.

He began exiting the pillow fort. "And last time I checked, Mathias, you're 16. You've still got a while until you're a big, strong, 'verified adult'."

Mathias informed Emil that his brother was, in fact, a pooplord, before scrambling out of the fort, knocking down half of it's walls in the process. He jogged a little and finally caught him just inside the kitchen.

"Feeling a little salty today, are we?" Mathias teased, enveloping the other boy in a warm hug.

Lukas wrapped his arms around him. "Who wouldn't be, when their parents leave them home to take care of their little brother for an entire weekend?"

"You say that as if you don't love having me here to help you all day."

"Well..." Lukas said, a hint of a cheeky smile appearing on his lips. Mathias pouted towards the floor until Lukas delicately grabbed his chin and led his face down for a kiss.

"That's gross," a small voice piped up from behind them.

...They supposed that they could ignore him for a few seconds.

"Luke, Matty called you a pooplord."

 _Shit._

Mathias's eyes flashed open and he scampered over to Emil, childishly ducking behind his much smaller frame. Lukas thought for a moment before he began slowly inching along the counter tops, a mischievous look twinkling in his eyes. "Oh did he now?" He asked.

Emil was having fun with this. "Yup!" He responded, running over to grab his brother's pant leg. Mathias was left cowering in the wide open.

"'Pooplord' isn't a very nice name, Mathias. Do you know what we Bondeviks do to people who call us bad names?" Lukas paused in front of the sink.

"You accept their bribes and then forgive them for their moment of weakness?" Mathias panicked, slowly backing up against the wall.

"Nope. We do this."

With lightning-quick speed Lukas grabbed the faucet head from the sink, turn on the cold water, and aimed it at the now-screaming Mathias. He dashed out of the kitchen to escape Lukas's wrath, dripping patiently outside the door until he heard him turn off the water.

"You said something about a bribe?" Lukas called.

Mathias slowly opened the door, feigning repentance. He began walking towards the brothers. "I did. If my lords would be gracious enough to keep the magical water cannons off from now on, your subject could offer you a fantastic prize."

As he approached, Lukas walked backwards until he felt his back hit the corner of the room. "Mathias..." He replied in the spirit of the game, pushing Emil in front of him.

Mathias kept advancing. "Surely my lords desire one of my World-Famous bear hugs?"

And with that he leapt forward and captured both of the boys in a sopping-wet hug, effectively soaking the two squealing boys in seconds.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm booooooooored."

Mathias put down his chess piece and ran his hand across his face. Lukas had gone out to pick up some lunch for them all less than 20 minutes ago, but already Mathias was at a loss of fun ideas that wouldn't get them in trouble. Emil didn't seem interested in all of the toys that Mathias had brought for the occasion, there was nothing good on TV, they weren't allowed to eat snacks before lunch (though they may have broken that rule), and they'd already played board games and cards all morning.

"What would you like to do, then, dude?" Mathias replied, trying to keep up his energy.

Emil sat cross-legged, clutching his Puffin plushie. "Tell me a story. A good one that doesn't involve you saving Lukas from danger so that he falls in love with you," he added.

Mathias decided to ignore the second part of that. "A story? Hmm..." He pondered, gazing around the room for inspiration. His gazed finally rested upon a plastic battleaxe resting in the pile of toys. "I've got something even better than a story!" He yelled, stumbling over to the pile in his excitement.

Emil watched cautiously as Mathias grabbed the toy, fist-pumped the air, and then desperately looked around the playroom for a moment before an old wooden chest of toys piqued his attention. He bounded across the room and hopped onto it, ignoring the chest's groaning beneath him.

Mathias beamed down at the confused 4-year-old, brandishing his toy axe before him. "Today, my dear Emil, Big Bro Matty is gonna teach you about the greatest warriors who ever lived: THE VIKINGS!"

Emil cocked an eyebrow at him and stayed silent; Mathias was struck with how similar he was to his older brother. Keeping that in mind, he jogged back to Emil and scooped him up, swinging him around until the room was filled with Emil's excited squealing.

"No no no no! Stop, Matty!" He shrieked, dodging a tickle attack.

Mathias grinned and pounced a well-aimed tickle onto Emil's chubby tummy. "Not until you address me as my rightful Viking name: Eirik Ale-Drinker!"

"Alright, alright! Rick Ale-Tinkler! Let me down!"

 _Eh, good enough._ Mathias dropped Emil down onto a nearby rocking chair and flopped back on the floor as well. They both lay there panting for a few minutes before Emil curiously popped his head over the arm of the chair. "Did the vikings ever kill dragons?" He asked.

Mathias whistled. "Oh yeah, tons of them. Trolls and vampires and all kinds of other nasty stuff, too. But for the most part, the Vikings spent their time sailing the ocean looking for new lands to explore, foreign people to meet, and chests of gold to pillage." He turned his head to find Emil's eyes shining with excitement.

"Can I be a viking?" Emil asked, bouncing in his seat a little.

Mathias grinned. He walked back to Emil and squatted down enough for him to clamber up onto his shoulders before straightening up again. "Onwards, Onmund Puffin-Tamer, we're off to find mystical foreign lands!" He yelled, galloping out of the playroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Lukas could hear yelling coming from inside the house before he even opened his car door. Making a mental note to never leave his boyfriend alone with Emil ever again, he grabbed the take-out bags and hesitantly approached the front door. With no free hands left to dig his keys out of his pocket, he jammed the doorbell with his elbow.

The yelling paused for a few seconds, so he hit the doorbell again. "I'm home!" He called, wondering if it was too late to just get back into the car and leave again. Before he could turn around he heard footsteps: faint at first, but quickly pounding louder and closer to him.

Suddenly, the footsteps stopped. He could hear the two of them giggling behind the door. "Let me in, Mathias," he drawled, shifting the bags in his arms.

A tiny hand poked out of the mail slot followed by a pair of bright blue eyes. "What's the password?" Emil taunted.

Lukas stared at him blankly. "I have food. I also have the power to call mom and dad right now and tell them about this."

The mail slot shut with a _snap_ and the door was flung open. Before him was a mess - toys were scattered on the floor, pillows strewn across the room, and glitter and paper thrown on everything. In the middle of it all stood Mathias and Emil, both of them wearing strange costumes and carrying toy battleaxes. At closer inspection, he saw that Mathias even had a fur rug draped across his shoulders.

The great oaf flashed him a haughty smile. "I am the mighty Eirik Ale-Drinker, and this is the bold Onmund Puffin-Tamer. Who is this who dares venture into the homeland of the Vikings?"

 _Not again._ Lukas sighed. "Lukas Bondevik, master of this household and keeper of the food; who, I might mention, will be keeping all of this food until you two clean up all of this." He nodded to mounds of clutter around them.

Lukas watched as the pair eyed him steadily, then turned to confer with each other privately. After a few seconds of whispering, they straightened up. "Okay. We bid thee welcome, Lukas Bonde-viking," Emil replied as Mathias reached for the take-out bags.

Lukas held the bags out of reach. "Nope, you two have to clean up first. You can keep that viking armor on, though." he said, noting their crestfallen faces.

* * *

Two hours, a large amount of complaining and three tasty meals later, Mathias, Emil, and Lukas found themselves lying on the living room floor. Emil was fast asleep, snuggled up with his Puffin plushie and sucking his thumb under a thick Scooby Doo blanket that Lukas had laid over him. Mathias was flopped down on his belly in exhaustion and Lukas was spreadeagle on his back, fighting his drooping eyelids.

Lukas ran his fingers gently through his brother's snowy white hair. "He's never going to shut up about the Vikings now," he murmured. He turned on his side to face his boyfriend. "But he did seem to have a lot of fun."

Mathias rolled over, awkwardly scooted his body closer to him and took Lukas's left hand. "You have to admit that I'm definitely the coolest babysitter ever," he whispered, a lazy smile filling his face.

Lukas picked a stray piece of glitter out of Mathias's hair, letting his hand rest delicately on his cheek. "Hmm. 8/10 for getting him to sleep, but minus points for making a mess."

Mathias stuck his tongue out for a few seconds before relaxing his face, taking Lukas's hand from his cheek and gently kissing it. "This was fun. Emil's a really cool kid."

"He is. He likes you a lot, too. I think that he looks up to you," Lukas admitted. "Thanks for doing this for us."

Mathias propped himself up on his elbow. He snaked an arm around Lukas's back and leaned down for a long, sweet kiss. "We could have this one day, you know. A nice little house, a cute kid, playdates and naptime every afternoon..." Mathias mused against his lips.

"We're only 16, it's too early to think about having kids yet," Lukas replied, nuzzling his face against Mathias's warm chest. Even as the words left his mouth he couldn't suppress the cozy images that came to mind. They could probably adopt as soon as they were financially stable. They would be able to play with their child every day - they could take family walks and visit parks, tell stories by the window on rainy days, battle the monsters under the child's bed, cuddle and cook together... They could teach their child about the good and bad parts of life, help them and and watch them grow into an intelligent and kind adult... _Mathias would adore a little girl..._

Each thought sent his head spinning and made his chest ache just a little more. He sighed, listening to the steady rhythm of Mathias's heartbeat. "Actually, I think I'd like that."


End file.
